


i'd give all i have, honey

by gravityinglass



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Kidfic, M/M, ashton is the nanny luke hires to keep his head, in which luke is a stressed single father in a band with a baby girl, nanny/parent au, they fall in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 04:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2296445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gravityinglass/pseuds/gravityinglass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Luke is an adult, goddamnit.<br/>The toddler controlling his life doesn’t seem to think so. She zooms around the dressing room chattering happily in her pink tights and little leather jacket, a little cat ear headband in her hair. She runs rampant over his career, but luckily no one seems to mind, so far. His daughter is a demon with an angel’s face, and Luke will probably die of a heart attack over her antics by the time he’s thirty.</i>
</p>
<p>or, Luke is a single rockstar dad and Ashton is the nanny he hires.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'd give all i have, honey

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rocketshiptospace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocketshiptospace/gifts).



> i was doing [this challenge](http://dormilonaluna.tumblr.com/post/97297078268/send-me-a-ship-and-a-number-and-ill-write-a-short-fic/) on tumblr and the ever lovely [ellie](ashthing.tumblr.com/) asked me to do number 46, or "nanny/single parent au."  
> i, being totally unable to write anything short, wrote 3,000 words of baby-daddy-nanny playing family. enjoy!! :)  
> (title from taylor swift's 'never grow up')

Luke is an adult, goddamnit.

The toddler controlling his life doesn’t seem to think so. She zooms around the dressing room chattering happily in her pink tights and little leather jacket, a little cat ear headband in her hair. She runs rampant over his career, but luckily no one seems to mind, so far. His daughter is a demon with an angel’s face, and Luke will probably die of a heart attack over her antics by the time he’s thirty.

It had been big news, Leia’s conception and birth. Rockstar frontman slash father at nineteen, with fellow musician sweetheart mother at twenty-three. Luke had loved Richelle, really, he had, but she’d wanted anything but a baby. She’d gritted her teeth through the pregnancy, pretended to get along with Luke’s bandmates, and then had left her diamond ring and baby Rachel Leia Hemmings behind as soon as the hospital cleared her from bedrest.

The message had been clear enough.

That was three years ago now, and Luke had managed to keep her safe and healthy. Leia had been a quiet baby, content to nap in her bassinet while he, Calum and Michael wrote and recorded. The first tour after her birth, he’d left her with his mum for overseas dates and kept the tour as short as possible, and so the first album cycle had been fine. But now Leia was getting old enough to question when her daddy left and he didn’t want to leave her behind.

Bringing a two year old on a world tour was enough to give him heart attacks, thinking about little, breakable Leia and the enormous, unstoppable machine that was tour. His mum offered to come with them, but he’d already imposed on her a whole year while he figured this whole baby thing out. Not to mention he’d already done the whole touring with his mum thing, back when he was sixteen and 5 Seconds of Summer was just starting out, the three of them underage and in need of a guardian. He had no desire to repeat the experience at twenty-two.

“So get a nanny?” Michael suggested. He and Calum had fought over the role of Leia’s godfather, and had ended up sharing the position in absence of a godmother. Leia was currently sitting in his lap and nibbling on Michael’s fries contentedly. “They can watch Leia and you can stop worrying so much. Maybe she’ll even get a new mum. Or papa. The dad and the nanny, it’s classic, and you haven’t got a wife to get in the way!”

“Leia and I are doing fine,” Luke tried. Calum looked up from his mobile to level Luke with a dry look.

“We had a radio interview and you couldn’t find a sitter and nearly had a breakdown, which turned out to be for no reason at all because the interviewer loved her.” Calum looked back at his phone. “What if Michael and I set up an appointment with an agency and you at least talked to some of the nannies? If you hate them all we’ll figure something out, but you’ve got to get help for tour, Luke. There’s a reason most families have two parents, and that’s so you don’t run yourself ragged trying to nurture and provide at the same time.”

Michael swapped Leia’s fries out for carrot sticks; she glared at him but started gnawing on one contentedly.

Luke sighed. “You’ve already set up an appointment, haven’t you?”

“Aww, it’s like he hasn’t been friends with us for years,” Michael said. “I’ll email you the application.”

\--

The nanny agency packet of question was forty pages long.

“Am I finding a nanny or putting Leia up for adoption?” Luke grumbled, after the fifth waiver and NDA. The agency specialized in privacy for the parents and the child, but damn there were a lot of forms to fill out. Michael rolled his eyes.

“You want someone who’ll do well with her, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I just...it’s a lot.” Luke glanced over to where Leia had fallen asleep on the couch. He should probably take her to her room sometime soon, but he didn’t want to risk waking her up when she looked so content to sleep there.

“You’re finding someone to take care of Leia when you can’t, pretty much. It’s good that they’re thorough.”

When Luke finished, it took a day for the nanny agency to get back to him with four options. There were three women and one man, all very professional looking. He read their letters and looked over their files, and immediately eliminated the first two women--one was afraid of flying, which nannying Leia would entail, and the other was a fan, which. No. That left a woman named Charlotte Benin and a man named Ashton Irwin.

Benin was nice. She made eye contact, was professional, and kind to Leia, who hid behind Luke. If nothing else, he knew Leia would be well taken care of.

Irwin was different. He sat down with Luke but asked about Leia first, chatted with her and made friends before seriously talking with Luke himself.

Leia kept a hold of Luke’s hand but opened up with Irwin, and after the interview, Luke was sold. He’d been hesitant--another man around Leia, a little girl--but after seeing the two of them together, he knew this was probably the best arrangement, at least for now.

“I’ve got a little sister and a baby brother,” Irwin said, sitting on the floor with Leia and her favorite hot wheels cars. She drove it up his leg and he made a silly face at her. “And then I specialized in early childhood education in university, but the file would’ve told you that. I’ve been working as a nanny for...five years now? I started my first year as a part time thing and fell in love with the job.”

Michael and Calum demanded to meet up with Irwin for coffee when Luke announced he’d found a nanny; they came back pleased as could be.

“He’s as good as you could hope for,” Michael announced and stole half of Luke’s sandwich.

When tour rehearsals started in LA, Ashton Irwin had a backstage pass and an assigned bunk on the bus, and a schedule was worked out. Even knowing how well Irwin got along with Leia, Luke was nervous. Leia had only been left alone with family members and his bandmates. When he left her, though, Leia only cried a little.

“She’ll be fine,” Irwin promised, laughing a little. He had a big bag slung over his shoulder and was holding Leia’s hand while she sniffled. “It’s just separation anxiety, for both of you.”

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely,” Irwin said, laughing. “Leia and I will be fine. Go, do your music. We’ll be here.”

True enough, when Luke got back, Ashton and Leia were playing in the hotel room, doing patty-cake and working on Leia’s letters.

Luke breathed a little easier. It worked.

“So,” Michael said cheerfully one day a week into tour proper, vaulting over the back of the couch where Luke was sitting. “You totally picked the nanny you wanted to shag, right?”

Luke only choked on his tongue a little.

“No!” he spluttered, trying to regain his breath. Michael helpfully whacked him on the back, making the problem worse. “I picked the best one for Leia!”

“And the best one for you. Come on, you haven’t shagged a dude since before Richelle, and I don’t think you’ve shagged any girls since either.”

Luke shrugged. Michael wasn’t incorrect. Leia was the most important thing in his life, and he was never much for hooking up anyways. He didn’t want to bring home anyone who wouldn’t stick around, and risk breaking Leia’s heart.

\--

It became routine to come back to the bus and find Leia asleep on Ashton’s chest. Sometimes Ashton was asleep too, sometimes he wasn’t. If he wasn’t, Luke would set up with his laptop and write until the pair woke up or Calum and Michael came back, whichever happened first. If he was, Ashton would cradle Leia gently (the only other people Luke had seen handle Leia with such care was himself and his mum) and put her down in her bunk, padded with pillows so she wouldn’t fall out and decorated in soft blue and green florals, and join Luke to either talk or watch TV.  Michael and Calum usually went out but Luke had had enough of the party scene. His world was performing, and a little girl with bright eyes, and his band. Slowly it was starting to include one Ashton Irwin, but Luke pointedly didn’t think about that.

“You ever wish Leia had a mum?” Ashton asked, one of the nights Leia was soundly asleep in her bunk and they were in the kitchen, making tea and settling down for a nice three am run of How I Met Your Mother.

“She’s got a mum,” Luke said blankly. “Richelle and I aren’t on good terms, but Leia sees her for big holidays and a few weekends a year, when the both of us aren’t touring.”

Ashton pressed into Luke’s space. “I meant...like a full time mum.”

“She’s got a full time dad,” Luke protested weakly. “And Calum and Michael and you, and she loves her Grandmum. She’s going alright.”

“Well, maybe Leia’s alright, but how about you?”

“I’ve got you and Calum and Michael, don’t I?”

“Not to kiss,” Ashton murmured, and reached for his favorite mug from the cupboard. “When was the last time you went out? Before Leia was born, right?”

“Leia’s my only girl,” Luke said, and didn’t move away from Ashton’s warmth, tucked into his side.

“Well, maybe she doesn’t need a mum. Maybe a da.”

“What, are you applying for the position?” This close, Ashton’s eyes were wide and brown, and held Luke’s gaze easily.

“Maybe.” Ashton pulled back and started preparing his tea. Luke blinked and kept trying to find wherever Calum had stashed the popcorn.

\--

Tour went well, the first few weeks.

Ashton and Luke fell into a good routine--on bus days, Luke would spend as much time as possible with Leia and Ashton during the day. Leia was working on her letters, and loved sitting in either Luke or Ashton’s laps to be read to. She played with her trucks and her dolly, completely unaware that normal children weren’t carted from country to country like it was nothing. If Luke had time, he’d brush Leia’s hair and dress her, but more often than not Ashton got Leia ready for the day, usually in tights and dresses and her favorite leather jacket so she could look like her Daddy.

Ashton would entertain Leia while they were in interviews--sometimes they would go to a park and sometimes they’d wait off to the side while 5SOS performed and completed their interviews. On concert nights, Luke bid Leia goodnight with a kiss and sent her off with Ashton for dinner and bed; on nights where they didn’t have anything scheduled, he’d read her to sleep himself and give Ashton the night off. Oddly enough, Ashton rarely ever took them, instead choosing to stay with Luke and Leia.

“Can I ask why Leia?” Ashton asked one night in Paris, as Luke turned out the lights and gently pushed Ashton out of the room. He’d be back later, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be awake and talking while Leia slept. “As a name?”

“It was a joke, mostly,” Luke said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. Ashton fished out his room key and led them down the hallway a ways, to his room.“She’s actually named Rachel, after her mum--Richelle, Rachel. We were going to call her Chellie. Leia was a joke, y’know, Leia after Luke and Leia Skywalker, and since it was her middle name it wasn’t going to be a big deal, but. Richelle left, and calling her Rachel hurt, so Cal suggested her middle name, and Leia stuck.”

“It’s cute,” Ashton said. “Papa Luke and baby Leia.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “I know it’s awful. She’ll probably want to go by Rachel when she’s older, but until then she’s my little Leia.”

Ashton smiled. “I can make tea and we can watch something inane.”

“Harry Potter?” Luke asked, perking up. Ashton laughed and nodded.

Luke fell asleep against Ashton’s side halfway through the second movie, and woke in the middle of the night to realize Leia was alone three doors down and he should probably hurry. The bed was empty though, and when he unlocked the door to his room, he realized that Ashton had snuck out to stay with Leia, let Luke have a full night’s sleep.

Ashton was sleeping on the regular bed, Leia in her little folding cot that they brought with them everywhere. Luke smiled and gently slid in next to Ashton.

Luke decided he liked this rhythm, sharing Leia with someone. She wasn’t a burden, no, but he hadn’t realized how much of his time he devoted to her, until someone took the majority of the workload. He started considering dating again, maybe finding Leia a stepmum or a stepdad, and realized that everything he wanted in a fellow parent and bedmate was Ashton.

He figured it was just a crush, and that it was probably mostly inevitable. You usually shared the raising of a kid with someone you’d made the kid with--Ashton hadn’t made Leia but he took care of her, and that did things to Luke’s heart.

Luke managed to ignore it, until the day he came back from an interview and Leia wasn’t there, and neither was Ashton. Luke called Ashton, expecting him to pick up.

He didn’t.

Fourteen consecutive times.

Calum found Luke absolutely freaking out and just barely stopped him from calling the police.

Luke was shaking when Ashton and Leia wandered in an hour later. Leia had ice cream smeared on the corner of her mouth and was babbling happily to Ashton, something about zebras and horses.

Ashton stopped short at the sight of a shaking and furious Luke.

"Where the hell were you--" Luke started to demand, but Ashton shook his head, cutting him off.

"Leia, say hi to your dad and then go see your Uncle Calum, yeah?"

Calum's nails dug into Luke's wrist, warning him to listen.

"I took Leia to the Munich Zoo today," Ashton said calmly, holding his hands up, once Calum had taken Leia out of the room. "I let your PA knew and I left a note."

"You weren't answering," Luke said, breath starting to even out. Leia had looked fine, except for a Hello Kitty bandaid over her knee.

"My battery died. Leia’s fine, Luke, I promise. I wouldn't let anything happen to her.”

“How do I know that when I can’t call you?” Luke demanded. “When my kid is missing, how the fuck should I know that she’s okay, Ash, how the hell will I know she’s not dead somewhere?”

“Maybe because she means as much to me as any kid of mine would?” Ashton scrubbed a hand down his face. “Fuck, Luke. Are you really this dense?”

“Dense?”

Ashton strode forward and grabbed Luke’s shirt, hauling him down for a kiss. Luke froze, disbelieving. Ashton pulled back and rubbed his hands through his hair. “Fuck.”

Luke was still frozen as Ashton started to leave, but he managed to ask “Where are you going?”

“To call the agency and resign from this job,” Ashton said, shoving his hands in his pockets. His mouth was dark red and he licked over his bottom lip.“Because both of us clearly lack the emotional distance for this.”

“Emotional distance?”

“We’re not supposed to fall in love with clients, Luke,” Ashton said dryly, fishing his key out of his pocket. “And we’re not supposed to see the kids as our own. I’ve fucked up both of those things. The agency’ll probably send Charlotte, she was the other one qualified for this.”

“And if I wanted to keep you, and refused to take Charlotte?”

“Then you’d be without a nanny, because they can’t keep me here on this, not…”

“You have to stay,” Luke said, and sank to the floor, burying his face in his hands. “I can’t change Leia’s routine, not when she loves you so much.”

“I’ll stay out of your way,” Ashton said, looking miserable. “I’ll keep Leia busy, but. I’ll stay out of your way until tour is over.”

Before Luke could correct him, Ashton was gone.

\--

“You fell in love with the nanny,” Calum deadpanned, and then burst into laughter. “Jesus christ, you are the world’s biggest walking cliche.”

“Fuck off,” Luke said, feeling miserable. “It’s not funny.”

“You’re right, it’s hilarious. He quit because he was in love with you.” Calum clutched his sides, doubling over. “Michael and I have so many song ideas about being in love with the nanny, he’s going to be great.”

“He tried to quit,” Luke corrected, looking a little sheepish. “I convinced him to stay for Leia’s sake, I can’t just...we can’t just change nannies in the middle of tour, she’d be awful.”

“Who’d be awful?”

“Leia, if they changed nannies,” Calum told Michael, looking up. “Since Ashton kissed Luke and all.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, apparently I missed a lot,” Michael said, eyes wide. “Ashton kissed Luke?”

“And tried to quit,” Luke added. He put his head down and covered it with a pillow and wondered if he could stay there forever. “He said he was in love with me.”

“That’s great! What’d you say?”

“I didn’t,” Luke said, and the pillow was torn from him. “I asked him to stay for Leia. He didn’t want to, but. He said he would.”

Calum took the pillow he’d stolen from Luke and beat him over the head with it. “You fucking idiot.”

“How am I the idiot here?”

“I don’t know, when Ashton said he loved you you could have said you loved him right back?” Michael exclaimed, and turned to Calum. “Give me the pillow, I want a turn to beat him over his idiocracy.”

“Go talk to him, you idiot,” Calum said. “Tell him you love him, and make him want to stay.”

\--

Luke knocked on Ashton’s door.

“You didn’t let me say what I meant,” Luke said when Ashton answered the door, Leia balanced on his hip and rubbing her eyes with little fists. “You left before I could.”

“Didn’t seem like you had much to say,” Ashton said warily, but stepped aside. “Hi, Leia-lee, how’s the princess?”

“Good,” she said, and bounced until Luke let her down. She zoomed over to the corner where she settled in with her blocks, having learned where Ashton kept them.

Ashton folded his arms. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to say--I reciprocate.”

“Excuse me?”

“You said you were in love with me. I’m in love with you.”

Ashton fishmouthed.

“You’re not really,” he said finally, when he regained words.

“Am so,” Luke insisted. “And I know you’re my nanny and we’re not supposed to, but Leia loves you and I love you, and I need you and want you to stay with us, and I want to hold your hand and make Calum and Michael watch Leia for an evening so I can take you on a date and take you to bed, and I want to wake up next to you and see your bedhead and argue over who’s turn it is to dress Leia and argue with her over brushing her teeth, and I want you to be there when she goes to kindgergarten. I want you to meet my mum, and I want to leave Leia with her so I can show you a proper vacation, and I want you.”

Ashton exhaled shakily and threw himself forward at Luke. He kissed him, long and sweet.

“Right.” Ashton exhaled shakily, and looked between Luke and Leia. “I’ll be your nanny til the end of tour. No funny business, Mr Hemmings, I’m just the nanny. After...we’ll try this whole boyfriends thing, yeah?”

“Sounds good to me,” Luke said, and held out his hand. Ashton took it, lacing their fingers together. “Sounds perfect, actually.”

\--

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi to me on [tumblr!!](http://dormilonaluna.tumblr.com/)


End file.
